Monday, June 16, 2008

Everyone loves a parade

Right? I don't usually. Parades are not my favourite thing. But this one was okay. It helped that we only had to walk 5 minutes to get to the very start of the route, crowds were pretty thin at our vantage point, and only one woman stood right next to my children's stroller smoking a cigarette. I think she got a flyer from the "Jesus saves" guy, so it's all good. 

Oh, and this woman. So she can simultaneously ride a unicycle (very smoothly) and play Yankee Doodle Dandy on the flute. I'm all for multitasking, but what I want to know is, can she talk on the phone, referee a dispute between siblings, feed the baby, get out the crayons, mop up a spill, cook a meal and write a blog post all at the same time? Now if I could just learn to ride a unicycle .... 

Monday, June 2, 2008

I'm not a doctor ....

But I do watch House. I've been feeling unwell for a little while and today all my seemingly unrelated symptoms have conveniently converged. I figured out what's wrong with me. I used the differential diagnosis method. Oh, and Google. 

I was able to ransack my house looking for drugs, mold and/or other environmental pollutants. I questioned my family members. I ruled out Lupus and Sarcoidosis, also bacterial infection (no fever), and Munchausen's by Proxy. I briefly considered Hypochondria, but thought I'd be much sicker if that were the case. 

Here's the white board.

I have diagnosed myself with Fifth Disease. There's not much that can be done; it's a generally mild viral illness that just needs to run its course. Fluids and rest are recommended, and for adults suffering the arthritis symptoms, ibuprofen. "Have adults with joint pain and swelling rest and limit their activities".

Rest. LOL! I would rest, but my husband has gallivanted off to a fancy pants black tie affair tonight, while I was at the elementary school spelling bee. It was very relaxing. Oh wait, I meant not at all relaxing.

Oh well. That'll teach me to not get the antibodies of common childhood diseases.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

The Rookie

It's his first year of Little League. He ended up on a team with several kids who have played together since they were old enough to play and they are really good. It's not easy being the new kid. Especially when your skills could use some polishing. But he's out there facing the pitches, swinging the bat, chasing the outfield hits.

His mother sits in the bleachers and has been known to glare at teammates who disparage him within her earshot. She buys him a 1lb bag of "Double Bubble" to share with the other boys, hoping to buy him some goodwill with the official gum of the Major League.

It's almost the end of the regular season and he's only had one hit, an RBI single. He's drawn a few walks, been hit several times by pitches, and struck out too many times to count. He usually only plays half the innings, sharing a spot with another of the team's non-star players. But every game day he dons the uniform with such excitement, buzzing with the anticipation of potential base hits, home runs, diving catches.

He's one of the Boys of Summer, in his rookie season.