Monday, June 2, 2008

I'm not a doctor ....

But I do watch House. I've been feeling unwell for a little while and today all my seemingly unrelated symptoms have conveniently converged. I figured out what's wrong with me. I used the differential diagnosis method. Oh, and Google. 

I was able to ransack my house looking for drugs, mold and/or other environmental pollutants. I questioned my family members. I ruled out Lupus and Sarcoidosis, also bacterial infection (no fever), and Munchausen's by Proxy. I briefly considered Hypochondria, but thought I'd be much sicker if that were the case. 

Here's the white board.

I have diagnosed myself with Fifth Disease. There's not much that can be done; it's a generally mild viral illness that just needs to run its course. Fluids and rest are recommended, and for adults suffering the arthritis symptoms, ibuprofen. "Have adults with joint pain and swelling rest and limit their activities".

Rest. LOL! I would rest, but my husband has gallivanted off to a fancy pants black tie affair tonight, while I was at the elementary school spelling bee. It was very relaxing. Oh wait, I meant not at all relaxing.

Oh well. That'll teach me to not get the antibodies of common childhood diseases.


Stickthulhu said...


Your husband's a bona-fide Navy JACKASS...

Dr. Momentum said...

As soon as I heard about the rash, I thought of Fifths. I don't know if it's common in Australia, so my guess would have been that you were'nt exposed as a child.

Although, you always have to consider bacterial infection, because meningitis is a possibility, which is why it is good to have doctors around.

Of course, you don't want to go through the kinds of tests House uses to rule stuff out!

Maggie said...

LOL, I love your whiteboard! I remember when I had young children, "sick in bed" sounded like a vacation! Soon enough -- well, not so soon, but eventually -- you'll be able to lie in bed and leave them to their own devices. They'll still feel the need to inform you of ridiculous, inconsequential things, they will decide to feed themselves/take out the play-doh on the carpet/paint you a picture as soon as you're out of sight, they'll forget not to scream, and the house will be a disaster area roughly ten minutes after you first lie down, but at least you'll be in bed.

I hope you feel better soon.